Saturday, April 16, 2011

Are you sure?

Not long ago, in a day least expected, I met myself. Shy at first, crazy as you get to know better, and there's always a dark side lurking.

Time was great, and great is an understatement. It's like masturbating, you know exactly what you want, and you know how to treat yourself the way you like it. Indulging in moments, so relaxed, one tend to do whatever it takes just to stay the way it is. Minimizing the risk that might ruin the chemistry, letting it works taking it's own time, staying away from the Bunsen to avoid catching fire, away from the centrifuge to avoid separation.



However, chemistry being what it is, affected by the change in environment. The change in room temperature, direct sunlight shine, and sun flower follows. Sometimes I tend to forget that while I wish that things work out naturally, nature might work against me. Lesson well learnt. Seems like those economist was right, high risk, high gain, low risk low gain. No risk? No gain!

Logic has it that when paths are branched, going backwards and then catching up with the person on the other path is futile, given both are on the same speed. The bummer is, logic has always been more philosophical than scientific, science based on logical reasoning are but a bunch of theories based on philosophy, in short bunch of structured bullshit. Logically avoided the illogical choice, structuring more bullshit to make what deem logical, logical.

Life goes on, though sometimes wondering about the path not taken, time ticks off just the same way it has been. Even as the batteries of the clock runs out, the time still move on.

Masturbating has been great, inevitably there will be an end, and it's not even orgasm, simply ejaculation. Clean up, pants up and then continue doing what's left undone. In hokkien, we say, there's no right or wrong, only 'song' or 'boh song'. 'Song' in this context sorta means happy or satisfied, and 'boh song' means unhappy or unsatisfied. Well not very accurate but sorta.
There's no right or wrong, only 'song' or 'boh song'!
It's a guaranteed satisfaction, yet, you know when it ends, there will always be disappointment. No matter how hard you tried, the invisible imaginative partner wouldn't be around. But it just feels so good you want to do it for one last time. Clinging to the feel good moment, hoping that path may cross again, that even if path never crossed, there's always carrier pigeons at service, and now wireless internet. So are you sure that's the best you can do?

So finally in a day not long ago, I left myself, without saying, are you sure this is goodbye?

If you read this, and you being what I will do, will try to ignore it. Knowing that one day, everything will be as if nothing has ever happened. That constructive confrontation, is nothing but a myth, at times. That I do miss you dearly at heart and I can't even tell you that now, yeah yeah.

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What is lauyeelosophy?

It was a little unexpected that this blog is still up at running after so many years, and definitely a huge chunk of inactivity. Started off with nothing but some personal nags, sharing some of the songs that I genuinely like and their lyrics, and some thoughts that I have no one around me to discuss with, bullshits that I've structured.

Soon I'll put everything into a mixing bowl, sharing lyrics with a structured bullshit story. I wouldn't update it as often as I'd like to but for people who like reading, I'm sure you wouldn't be disappointed.

Yes a picture is worth a thousand words, but it wouldn't be as entertaining as a thousand words for sure.


Sincerely yours,
lauyee